For many years I had many friends. I can’t recall a time in my life when my phone was not constantly ringing or I wasn’t constantly out and about with friends. Because I was a fairly rebellious teenager, I spent most of those years over at my friend’s houses or at the mall or anywhere outside. But as I grew older, I saw the fading of many friendships. It’s interesting to see when the darkness falls and times get hard, who is left standing in the end. And during so many dark periods of my life, I saw friendships drop like flies. It was easy and comfortable for them to be there during the good times, but when the bad hit, many scattered like ants.
Although I can’t blame them completely. Before I was a “Yes” friend. Nobody really knew what I had been through. The relationships were pretentious and I could never be myself.. So I learned to be submissive and quiet in my relationships, lie a lot about how I felt. My friendships were not built on a rock, but instead were built on sand. There was no foundation. And for many years I sat silently by with many friends but feeling completely isolated. My circumstances caused me to enter a deep depression although you would have never known it.
A few days ago, this feeling was again threatening me. I wanted to be alone; all by myself (excuse me for the song title). I want to separate myself to others that is why I deactivated my facebook and twitter account recently. I don’t want to talk to anybody. Although I do have several amazing friends who have stood by me through it all. These relationships have always been built on rocks. And when the tide has come in, they are still standing with me.
But God has shown me that in my isolation, He is trying to get my attention, trying to show me something. How could He show me His purpose for me if He didn’t have me alone? We are constantly bombarded by so many distractions whether they are good or bad that we can’t hear Him. And it is in this season of my life that God has cleared it all away- relationships included.
He has taught me that although we are supposed to love and pray for people, that it cannot become our idol. In wanting and chasing after those people, we lose sight of what His purpose is for us. And after all, it is His job to save people, not ours. We are simply there to plant the seed.
Sometimes God requires removal from our normal environment. If you are in a season of isolation like I am, rejoice. God has you there for a reason. He has to confiscate you to His island in order to get you alone. He is jealous for you.
Since I’ve had this revelation, I am seeing and understanding so much more. And in this time when I should be depressed and forlorn, I am rejoicing knowing that He has let certain people leave my life because He wants me alone. He wants to show me things. And grow my faith like I’ve never seen.
May God bless your season alone, and know you are never alone in Him.
Your sweetest Melody, ❤